50 Shades of Grey Leads to Sexercise Explosion!

A funny side affect since 50 Shades of Grey's immense popularity?  A boom in pc exercise toy sales.  Many women are walking into Self Serve and asking about Ben Wa balls or kegel toys.  Apparently, Fun Factory is seeing such an effect that TMZ is reporting on it.

TMZ published a wonderfully-titled piece, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Linked to Vagina Ball Explosion.  I pretty much love this article header.  Luckily there hasn't been an actual vagina ball explosion in the pyrotechnical sense, to my knowledge.  But it's true that many a lady is reading about these 'vagina balls' and discovering the joys and challenges of toning pc muscles and wearing a sneaky kegel toy inside her vagina.


The thing is, we often steer ladies away from the classic Ben Wa balls they've read about, unless they're sexual athletes already.  The original Ben Wa balls are actually quite small, heavy and slippery.  For most sexually active adult women, especially moms, Ben Wa balls are very challenging to hold in.  They are like the advanced model.


If you're looking to try wearing a toy inside vaginally to tone pc muscles, then start with the newer models, like Smartballs from Fun Factory or the Ami set from JeJoue.  These are much better designs for women that aren't as in touch with their kegels.  


While this 'vagina ball explosion' may be inspired by a sexy suggestion in 50 Shades of Grey, it's a great activity to try for your health!  Doing pc exercises and toning your pelvic floor has all sorts of benefits for both your sex life and your general health.


Here are a few benefits from having toned pc muscles in your pelvic floor:

• stronger orgasms
• easier ability to orgasm
• minimizing incontinence
• squeezing your partner during sex
• better posture and stability

You don't technically need any toys to do your kegels.  If you want to try to sexercise at home, here's a basic way to begin from dodsonandross.com:

• The pubococcygeus muscles are the muscles that support your pelvic anatomy and surround your urethra, vagina and anus. Strengthening them can both increase the intensity of your orgasms and your ability to have more than one.

• To identify your PC muscle simple stop your urine flow the next time you go to the bathroom. The muscles that you squeeze to do this are the PC muscles. Essentially, squeezing these muscles several times a day is one way to perform Kegels.

• Squeeze the PC muscles for 10 seconds  - pulling up with the vagina and then releasing completely for 10 seconds. It is as important to fully relax the muscles as it is to squeeze them tightly. 

• That's it!  The exercises are best while holding proper posture, and building up in reps as you get stronger.  Popular ways to incorporate kegels into your routine include: kegel during red lights, kegel while you brush your teeth, kegel while waiting in line,  kegel in the shower or during any daily activity.  The beautiful thing is that you can kegel anywhere!

StrapOn Sex 101 How-To Videos

I am a fan and promoter of Strap On Sex.  I wish for all to try it and I support the strap on revolution.  It's not just for the lesbians anymore!

Enjoy our series on strap on sex and learn how to be the best strapper in all the land.  Keep in mind many of these sex tips can be applied to doing it with attached penises, too!  A studious and learned lover is a good lover. (or at least chances are better)

These sex how-to videos will introduce you to strap on sex myths and facts, strap on preparation, choosing strap on sex toys, thinking about size (it does matter) and taking care with the ins and the outs of doing it, doing it and doing it well. 

Self Serve is Hiring!

It only happens once a year or so...

Self Serve is hiring a part time/on-call Sales Associate/Sex Educator.

*Read our job description and how to apply below.  If you don't follow application guidelines, you won't get called for an interview.*

Join our small, hardworking team of sex educators! You have the opportunity to help people feel better every day, and create a sex positive space unlike anything else in New Mexico.

Must be 18+, open minded, excited about sexuality education and enjoy retail customer service.  This position is primarily for 4-8 hours per week and on-call/vacation coverage to be discussed.  This position is for shifts Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays and weekday evening events.  Weekday availability a plus.  This is a position that is best suited for someone with a flexible schedule.  

Starting at $8/hr with room for growth, generous discount, on-the-job training and other benefits.

Summary of Responsibilities:
*offer one-on-one customer service
*retail sales
*inventory: shipping and receiving
*email communications & phone customer service
*upkeep of dvd rentals, special orders, class & event sign ups
*staff evening classes and events
*occasionally staff trade shows and weekend events
*Merchandising: maintain and improve store displays
*Daily cleaning
*Follow store procedures
*Detail oriented administrative tasks
*Build relationships within community
*Support website maintenance and orders
*Help create more joy and sexual pleasure in the world!

Required Skills:
*Positive Attitude
*Retail or Sales Experience
*Friendly Customer Service
*Healthy, open and honest communication
*Dedication and Strong Work Ethic
*Comfort and confidence talking about sexuality
*Enthusiasm for a wide variety of tasks
*Open-mindedness and comfort discussing sexuality with people of all ages, sexual orientations, genders, kink, etc.

Professional Experience that’s a plus:
*Sexuality education
*Administrative experience
*Purchasing inventory
*Public speaking
*Graphic design
*Public Relations
*Website Design or maintenance
*Volunteer coordination

TO APPLY: Send your resume, day/time/seasonal availability AND cover letter to info@selfservetoys.com. Please put "Part-time Job Application" in the subject line. Applications will be accepted through May 17th.  Interviews will be scheduled in late May.
Please, no phone calls, email any questions.  If you do not follow these guidelines, you will not be considered for the job.  

About Self Serve: Self Serve is a fun and welcoming retail store and sex education center. Through our store, website and toy party service, we provide the opportunity for people to learn about sexuality and their bodies while shopping for high-quality sex toys and other pleasurable sundries. Self Serve supports women, LGBT people and anyone seeking healthy, positive sexual attitudes and perspectives, and sensual pleasure in everyday life.

Transgender 101

Author and counselor Nicholas M. Teich just published an insightful and accessible Transgender 101 post on Huffington Post.  This 15 point intro touches upon some of the most important points in beginning to learn about transgender issues and approach trans people with respect and empathy.  He wrote a basic book that introduces Transgender 101, as well.  If you're trans or an ally looking for clear, straightforward language in which to explain complex transgender questions, here is a way to find the words. 

We are lucky in Albuquerque that our local Transgender Resource Center of NM just opened its office around the corner from Self Serve.  The TGRCNM website has already been a crucial resource for transgender people of NM, and now their office space offers additional resources like HIV testing, a library, job seeking resources, clothing exchange and more.  Check out the TGRCNM website for resources like support groups, therapists, trans-friendly health providers and more.

Best Sellers Sale!

Get 20% off our Top 10 Sex Toys!

For 10 days, we're offering a sale on our most popular sex toys for men and women.  If you need an excuse to add to your collection, now is the time.  Save 20% in our store or online.

Best Sellers

1.         Form 2 by JimmyJane

2.         The We Vibe 3

3.         Sidekick #2 Sleeve

4.         Calla Vibe

5.         Double Happiness

6.         3 Speed Power Bullet

7.         The Big O Ring Vibe

8.         Tenga Egg Sleeves

9.         Hitachi Magic Wand

10.       Mini Goddess Bullet

Meet the Progressive Pleasure Club!

A New Generation of Education-Based Sex Shops Is Changing the Adult Industry

The growing community of independent sex-positive shops has a new home thanks to the launch of the Progressive Pleasure Club (PPC).  Matie Fricker and I, co-owners of Self Serve Toys in Albuquerque, New Mexico, started the PPC to share support and resources with other shops like ours, which help people make informed decisions about sexuality-related products.  
 

We wanted to get people talking about the unique work we do and the challenges and joys we encounter at Self Serve, and so the Progressive Pleasure Club was born. We believe everyone has a right to enjoy sexual pleasure in a smart and healthy way, and we the PPC will educate customers about local, independent stores where they can feel safe shopping, and can trust the safety of the adult products they buy.

Today a new class of social entrepreneurs are taking the lead in opening sex-positive, independent shops all over the continent. Self Serve is one of a dozen or so like-minded shops in cities from Portland, Maine, to Portland, Oregon, where trained sex educators offer a locally-owned, education-based, ethical place to shop for intimate goods. The Progressive Pleasure Club is a network of independent sex shops dedicated to helping people make informed decisions about sexuality products. Member shops are committed to the promotion of accurate and honest pleasure-based sexuality education, and to offering products that meet the highest standards of safety.  “We are thrilled that the PPC came into being,” explains Gina Rourke, owner of Nomia in Portland, Maine.  “Since 2004, Oh My in Northampton, MA and Nomia have been collaborating and sharing information, as well as our purchasing power. To have the opportunity to join with a cadre of similarly committed entrepreneurs with shared values is nothing short of revolutionary. We are excited to see how this collective will transform lives in our communities as well as the industry at large.”

In the next year PPC members will join forces to educate the public about adult toy safety, promote local support for small business, and lobby adult toy manufacturers to eliminate the use of phthalates and toxins in manufacturing.  “We have created a unique space for sharing marginalized voices, both ours and those of our customers. The PPC is bent on radicalizing the adult industry for the better of all,” shares Lea Caughlan, owner the Rubber Rose in San Diego.

As small business owners, we recognize that there’s power in numbers. And not unlike the healthy polyamorous folks we often serve, PPC members seek to approach business from an ethical place of abundance and positivity. After all, we share the goal of promoting sexual health and pleasure for all, and believe there is room for all to succeed as we strive to reach it.  Searah Deysach, owner of Chicago’s Early to Bed explains, "I am thrilled to be a part of an organization that is made up of small, local businesses that are committed to the same sex-positive, feminist values as I am. I love that we work together to help all of our shops thrive."

We look forward to meeting you in our hometowns all over North America, and helping you improve your relationships and lovin' in a healthy and happy way.

written by:  Molly Adler, co-founder of PPC

Current Members of Progressive Pleasure Club
Early to Bed | Chicago, IL
Feelmore 510 | Oakland, CA
Good for Her | Toronto, ON
Nomia | Portland, ME
Oh My | Northhampton, MA
The Rubber Rose | San Diego, CA
Self Serve | Albuquerque, NM
She Bop | Portland, OR
Smitten Kitten | Minneapolis, MN
Sugar | Baltimore, MD
The Tool Shed | Milwaukee, WI

For more information about the Progressive Pleasure Club, email molly@selfservetoys.com

Objects of Affection: People in Love with Objects

Most people get sentimental about a object of special significance. 'Objectiphiles' fall in love with those objects. They form relationships, and have erotic connections with their object of affection.

"Erika Eiffel founded the Objectum Sexuality Internationale group which has more than 40 members and a website."http://www.objectum-sexuality.org/

Do it more & Do it better

So many couples and individuals approach us at Self Serve with a common question:  How can my partner and I have more sex, and better sex, more often?

In the fast-paced, stressed-out culture we live in, it's common for couples to find they love each other and want more intimacy, but the sex just doesn't happen.  I'm teaching a class this Tuesday night all about this topic.  When the willingness and commitment is there, couples can definitely find ways to improve their sexual satisfaction.

So much of the conversation has to do with expectations, priorities and creativity.  I look forward to helping couples figure out what they're looking to improve, whether it be the depth of their connection, how often they get it on or simply reconnecting when they feel distant.  It's important to remember that all of us are unique and there's no one "normal" frequency of how often one should have sex.  There's no "normal" of how we should be having sex.  As individuals, we have to acknowledge that our needs and desires are usually different than those of our partners.  The key is communicating and figuring out how to meet in the middle.

You can sign up for classes online, or call 505-265-5815.

If you cannot attend the upcoming Self Serve class, consider a consultation with Self Serve Co-Owners & Sexuality Educators Molly or Matie.

Vote Self Serve ABQ's Best Sexy Shop

If you love us, then Vote!

It's that time of year.  If you have a favorite business -whether it's Self Serve or your favorite local DJ- tell the rest of the city in the Alibi!   We've been honored to win Best of Burque's Best Sexy Shop for 4 years in a row.  Help us make it 5!

Recognition from the Alibi readers and the people of Albuquerque truly makes us smile and really helps our business.  If you love any local businesses, take the time to vote.  Thank you!

What Makes a BJ Great?

We are improving our classes, and adding to the most popular topic we offer... Blow Jobs 101!

Please tell us what you want to learn.  Fill out our brief survey and tell us what you think about blow jobs. (the survey link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/85RKJRF )

We are creating a new fellatio class and we would like to have some "hard" data to use (pun intended).  We want to make sure that this new class showcases all the flavors of blow jobs,  so we need feedback from anyone who sucks, has, wears, or just loves dick!


Thanks for your long, hard work on this.